Ashes Twitter fritter: "I am not a freaking cricket match!!!"

THE start of the Ashes battle has been relished by cricket fans throughout Australia, England and other cricket-playing nations. The United States, seemingly, has not been captured by it.

People wanting to share their thoughts on the series have been doing so on Twitter by adding #Ashes or #TheAshes to their messages, to ensure people monitoring those topics can see their contribution. But some have been mistakenly affixing @theashes to their messages. By doing so, hundreds of messages have been directed to @theashes, a woman from Westfield, Massachusetts, whose tweets have primarily related to her toddler's sleeping habits.

Her first hints of irritation emerged about two days ago, when she replied to about six cricket fans who had contacted her, explaining: ''I am not a cricket match. Stop mentioning me and check profiles before you send messages. It's really annoying.''

As her frustration became evident, her messages were re-tweeted by hundreds more, prompting an irate response from her yesterday.

''I AM NOT A FREAKING CRICKET MATCH!!!''

Once news of her frustration spread yesterday, cricket tweeters were mischievously urging people to follow @theashes for Test series updates.

Stand by for her next tantrum.

Close shave coming up

KEVIN Pietersen on Twitter:

Uve all seen today how terrible I look with this 'tache. It's only got a few more days left!! So if you fancy donating to Men's Health.

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